Unsolicited advice.

Unsolicited Advice.

Fair warning - this might be my first post that could qualify as a rant.

I remember watching my close friend go through her pregnancy and talk about all of the people that would reach out to touch her stomach without asking, to offer parenting advice, opinions on names, to ask extremely personal questions about her experience. She wouldn’t have it - she would say “no” when they asked or simply try to shut down the conversation. It was a new perspective to me - you simply didn’t have to be agreeable with people - it blew my mind, and I try to channel her all of the time now.

Wearing a boot for the last couple of weeks, has brought out its fair share of unsolicited advice. Let me clarify, I do appreciate the sentiment of asking about it to make sure I am okay. But once I explain that I have been dealing with plantar fasciitis and this is just the latest way I am working to treat it, I don’t really want to hear about the one thing that fixed your's, your close friend’s, or your dear old great aunt Sally’s.

As one of my colleagues who is a new mother recently put it, “oh, did something recently change about your physical appearance and now people feel they have a right to discuss it with you and know everything about it?” Yes, that is exactly it.

My outward, polite, people-pleasing Kelly, nods and smiles and says, “oh yeah?” While the inward, more disagreeable voice (which is getting slightly louder each day and I like her), wants to yell “did I ask for your opinion?”.

It’s just not that simple; it’s a complex injury/affliction, it’s in the foot for Pete’s sake - a place with hundreds of moving parts and pieces. And what might have helped you, your long lost cousin, or your husband, might not be the only thing that will solve my issue (someone who has pretty much been an active athlete all of her life). I have been working with multiple professionals to try and develop/implement ways of treating it. I don’t believe it’s an easy fix and I do think it will take time. Especially since I am counting on returning to my high-level-of-activity lifestyle.

I have always been pretty attentive to other's feelings and situations, I'm pretty mindful of trying to hear them as opposed to solve their problems. And this experience has given me an even better appreciation for what others might want to hear from me in any given kind of small talk exchange. I encourage everyone to reflect on that and try to live in that awareness.

That people-pleasing Kelly is hoping that people aren’t afraid to talk to me the next time they see me after reading this. Though that new, more disagreeable Kelly, is just fine with the fact that this might give them pause.