Sitomania.

That’s the word of the day. Like, actually. Everyday in our office, we get an email with the logistics of the day - who’s doing what where and when, as well as events and what not, and our business operations team always adds a word and a thought of the day.

Today, it was sitomania - “noun: An abnormal craving for food.”

That pretty much sums up my current relationship (and frustration) with food. I’m an active person, and those that know me, know this, and probably think anything I’m about to say is crazy. But….I am dealing with plantar fascitis. I haven’t run or played soccer since the end of September. That’s going on 8 months now. And it’s messing with my brain something fierce. I have counted on that level of activity to maintain my weight equilibrium and now it’s all out of whack.

It’s really just been me and the elliptical. Maybe some rowing machine. I tried to throw some strength training in there to help convert fat into muscle, or burn it quicker or whatever. It’s only seemingly helped to make my pants not fit. My self-discipline and will power have seemed to evaporate.

From the outside I am sure the changes don’t look all that much different, or so close friends tell me. But inside my head and my body, is a completely different story.

I have always admired athletes that come back from injuries. I meet with D1 student athletes who have just had surgery on their shoulder or knee, and they are going back to that level of competition?! The mental toughness that takes is amazing. I want to be like that. I am in the middle of my struggle and, truthfully, I just want to be on the other side. I want this to be a story that I tell after the fact, not currently live through. But, just like most things in life, the only way out is through. The struggle is real, as they say; and this is part of my attempt to embrace it.

I know this sounds like complaining, but I’m just trying to keep it real. Maybe some of you can relate? Maybe there’s an obstacle you are facing, a barrier you are working around to get to a place you want to be. Maybe by putting this out there it will help in my own accountability. Is that even necessary - who knows?

But, maybe we can inspire each other.